Landlubber Interlude: Taking on Texas Part 2

Hey, you didn't get stuck on Black Gap Road and made it to Part 2! What? You don't know what Black Gap road is? Oh, you must have missed Part 1 of this post. You should probably go back and read it, otherwise you might be wondering how we managed to get a boat into an underground cavern or up a mountain.

Okay, now that we're all on the same page, did I mention Texas is big? We left Big Bend National Park first thing in the morning (which is around lunch-time for us) and it took seven hours of driving to go a quarter of the way across the state to our next stop. That's even with the RV going more than seven miles an hour (unlike our boat.) But we eventually made it to San Antonio!

We dropped the RV's anchor in the first safe harbor we could find that didn't charge an extraordinary amount of money for large vehicle parking and bolted into the city as quickly as we could. We knew we were running behind, plus we had lots of energy from being stuck inside the RV all day, and so we ran all the way to... that place.... They always tell you to remember it... Remember.... remember the fifth of November? Remember the Titans?

Oh, right! The Alamo!

I don't think the fence was there during the battle. 

Unfortunately, we didn't get to the Alamo in time to do a tour; they closed the museum at 5:00, and we ran up at about 5:01. But San Antonio had more than enough to offer that evening.

I had been told that the San Antonio Riverwalk was the best place to stop in the city, but as we left the Alamo, I was pretty confused. San Antonio looked like any other city, with looming office buildings and LED signs for chain clothing stores. It took a few minutes of wandering before we found a small, insignificant sign pointing down some worn stone steps. As we descended, the city transformed. Instead of drab, concrete businesses, I felt like I was transported to a quaint, vibrant village. A shallow river wound through bright colored restaurants and shops covered in flowers and cheerful entrances. Ducks waddled along the brick streets, and even their plentiful duck droppings looked pretty. I'm sure most of the shops and restaurants were over-priced tourist traps, but they were certainly very picturesque over-priced tourist traps.

I wonder how many drunk people fall in that river on a daily basis?

I want to be this duck when I grow up. 

We wandered along the river, checking out shops, restaurants, and ducks. Since we were in Texas, everyone wanted to try on the local garb.

Luckily, no lice was spread. 

That night we piled back into the RV and drove the short hour (did I mention how big Texas was?) to our next stop: Natural Bridge Caverns. We knew the caverns weren't open at ten at night, but we hoped we would be able to get onto the property and anchor our RV in their ample parking lot for the evening. We figured it wouldn't be a problem; who needs security in a giant cave, after all? Do they think Dracula is going to throw a late-night rager with vampire buddies, Count Chocula and the Count from Sesame Street?

It turned out there was more security than we expected. A giant metal gate barred our way, and we weren't able to party with any vampires. Instead, we spent the night in a very classy Walmart parking lot and drove in the next morning when the gates were opened.

When we were preparing for this trip, Natural Bridge Caverns jumped out to me as a cool spot to check out, but I hadn't done more planning beyond a cursory Google search, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Normally when exploring new places, Justin and I abhor anything that requires a tour guide. Maybe it's because we're  too rebellious to follow instructions, or maybe it's because I have a habit of usurping tour groups and leaving the actual tour guide in the dust. The Natural Bridge Caverns were only accessible on a tour, so I was a little skeptical about the experience. It didn't help that this was the only day in our entire trip with bad weather, and I was feeling a little put off by the gusting wind and chilly rain. But as we descended toward the cave, the temperature got warmer and warmer. It turns out the caves themselves are secured with humidity doors that maintain a balmy 78 degrees.

We followed our tour guide into a dark, stone room. At first, just the path before us was lit up, showing us a few steps ahead. But after everyone in our group had filed in, she turned on the lights on an enormous opening. Bigger than a theater, this room stretched before us in all directions. Stalactites of all shapes and sizes clung to the ceiling, and equally impressive stalagmites sprung up from the floor to meet them.

This turned out to be one of the smaller rooms.

We followed the tour guide down dozens of steps into the cave, jaws hanging open as we tried to absorb the mind-bending formation and enormous cave room.

Someone said "gullible" was written on the ceiling.

From there, the caves only got more impressive. We learned about "soda straw" stalactites that hung from the ceiling like thin streams of boogers from a runny nose, as well as "column" formations that stretched all the way from the ceiling to the floor.

This was the Leaning Tower of Calcite

 \

I'm trying to rent this room as my evil lair, but I can't find the listing on Zillow. 

I guess we should consider doing guided tours more often, because the experience in the caves was pretty awesome, even if we didn't get the chance to meet a vampire. I did discover this mysterious gold ring with a strange inscription on it, but that's miiine....my preciousssssss.....

The secret to taking pictures in caves: a flashlight.

That afternoon it felt strange to emerge from the warm, humid caves into dreary, chilly rain, but it was a quick walk back to the RV and we were soon on our way. We had a bit of a drive before our last stop in Texas. And by a bit of a drive, I mean eight hours. (Have I mentioned yet that Texas is big?)

On this whole trip, Justin and I tried to be fairly decent role models to younger crew members, Shianne and Makenna. (We gave up on being role models for the cats a long time ago; they're a lost cause.) We do our best to be polite, respectful, and not break too many laws in front of the girls. However, I have a confession. At our last stop in Texas, Palo Duro Canyon State Park, we managed to commit enough crimes to make us worse role models than the president.

We reached Palo Duro State Park pretty late at night. I had paid for and reserved a campsite a few days before, so we knew right where to go, and we were looking forward to waking up inside the park and getting an early start on a big hike. But before we could even get into the park, we were forced to stop.

"Not another gate!" I exclaimed. Much like the Natural Bridge Caverns property, the park was blocked off by a securely padlocked metal gate. I was exasperated and exhausted. "We're going to have to park somewhere else," I said to Justin. "There's got to be Walmart somewhere for us to stay in again."

But Justin ignored my plaintive whining and got out of the RV. He inspected the gate, the padlock, and the chain connecting them. I suspect he considered melting the chain, but didn't have an appropriately sized flame thrower on hand. He continued to walk around the entrance, and he noticed the other side of the road was not blocked by a gate, but instead sported a row of sharp, angry tire spikes on the ground. Upon further inspection of the spikes, he saw that they would recede into the ground when a vehicle rolled over them to exit the park. Thus Justin's evil plan was hatched.

A few minutes of searching yielded a heavy, basketball-sized rock. He picked it up and placed it on the spikes, which instantly responded to the weight and retreated into the ground.

Justin was officially more clever than a few pieces of metal.

The rock in the red circle is the one that aided and abetted our crime. 

Next came the most difficult part of our criminal enterprise: convincing me to go along with the evil plot. First, I started freaking out about the spikes unexpectedly poking back up and puncturing our tires as we rolled slowly over them. I held my breath in terror, and luckily, we made it past without any punctures. I would have protested more about sneaking in to a state park, but at this point, it was pretty late. All of the other crew members were already asleep, and dealing with the emotional side effects of committing a crime was pretty tiring, so we pulled into our campsite, dropped anchor, and I went to bed.

Throughout this trip, when I wasn't breaking the law, I have been exploring my potential as an amateur bird watcher. I know being a bird watcher sounds super easy: you just see a bird and watch it, right? But it turns out you have to actually identify the birds too. So far on our trip, I was able to find a Mexican blue jay, a red tailed hark, and when we woke up at Palo Duro Canyon, I was very proud of myself to identify this flock of excellent birds, which our younger crew members called "not chickens."

They're running away because they heard Thanksgiving was coming early. 

Once everyone was awake and breakfasted, we left the RV to start our longest hike of the trip; our trip to the lighthouse. No, this wasn't an actual lighthouse with light and a house. It was just a rock, but it was an bizarre rock formation that provided an amazing view of the entire canyon.

The hike itself was a little cold, but once we got moving everyone warmed up. I vastly overestimated how many layers everyone should wear, so Justin got stuck being our mobile coat rack as everyone started shedding jackets and sweatshirts.

Shianne wanted to climb to the top of the ridge. Then she learned how gravity works.

They don't actually get along like this. They must be up to something.

Along the way up the canyon, we discovered (and may have stolen) some really cool looking red and silver rocks, yellow flower buds, and at least one tumbleweed. I figured we had already done some breaking and entering, why not add larceny to the list?

These tumble weeds tumbled all the way back to Buffalo!

As we hiked, we followed a clear trail marked with very obvious blue markers to reassure dumb out-of-towners like myself that we were going the right way.  Finally, I could see the lighthouse looming overhead, and the markers stopped in a small clearing backing up onto a steep rock slope. Despite the long hike, everyone was still pretty energized, so Justin said "Hey! Let's keep going!" He started up a path that was definitely missing big blue markers and no bigger than a deer trail. I was hesitant to leave my safe and state-park-approved trail, but I followed him up the cliff side.

We clambered over steep rocks and got a really good workout, and suddenly, there weren't any more rocks to climb. Right in front of us was the giant lighthouse and a breathtaking view.

The lighthouse was a little bit taller than Shianne.

The lengths I go to to get a good Facebook cover photo....

The way back down was a little trickier than the climb up. The steep slope was slippery with sandy rocks, and we developed different methods to get down. Crew member Makenna relied on her infinite supply of cuteness and convinced Justin to carry her down the mountain. Shianne and I resorted to inventing a new hiking technique called "The Penguin," where we squatted down while giggling madly and slid down the mountain.

I hope to represent the US as a penguinner in the 2020 Olympics. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent making our way back to the RV and out of the park. Palo Duro was certainly beautiful, but we had a long drive ahead of us and a lot more to see.

The cats refused to join us for this picture. 

That afternoon, we said goodbye to Texas and started our long drive back home. I took one of the first driving shifts, and I felt pretty guilty going back over those spikes the right way. A few hours into the drive, Justin got my attention. He had just gotten an alert from our credit card company that we had been refunded our money for the Palo Duro campsite. After all, we never checked in, and as far as the park officials know, we never showed up. And so, our crime was complete and now we can never go back to Texas.

We had originally planned on driving straight back to Buffalo, but as we set out, we realized we had an extra day before everyone needed to go back to work and school. And so we decided to make a slight detour to St. Louis!

Our first stop was the National Transportation Museum, where we enjoyed our last moments of warm, sunny weather checking out old-fashioned cars, trains, and one tug boat.

I promise, we did not sever any heads to take this picture. 

First, we checked out the old-fashioned cars in one of the large buildings on the sprawling museum campus. Shianne and Makenna were begging to drive them, and they are now counting down the seconds until they get their licenses.

We almost had to wipe Makenna's drool off this car. 

The sun was shining and it wasn't anywhere near cold enough for snow, so everyone was excited to go outside and play on the trains. We walked around trains, climbed up trains, went inside trains, licked trains. Well, okay, we probably didn't lick too many trains, but we went everywhere.

Get out of the way, Makenna!! You're about to be run over!

This wheel has to grow a little more if it's going to catch up to Shianne. 

From scrambling into bunk beds to listening to our echoes in an empty milk truck, exploring the giant engines and cars was a pretty awesome way to spend an afternoon.

Preteen lifting will also be a new sport in the 2020 Olympics.

Even though the museum was only twenty minutes from downtown St. Louis, it took us an extra hour to find a place to park the RV. We managed to sneak onto the brick embankment of the Mississipi and drop anchor there. Unfortunately, we were a bit hove-to in the wind.

PUSH!!

Once we were confident the RV wasn't going to drift away down the Mississippi River, we found ourselves mesmerized by the St. Louis arch.

It was surprisingly hard getting whole the arch and both crew members in the picture.

We enjoyed our last afternoon of warmer-than-Buffalo weather with a game of tag around the arch. The arch was not a very good player and wouldn't even try to run after us when we tagged it.

Since this was our first opportunity to explore St. Louis, we couldn't pass up an opportunity to go inside the arch and travel to the top. Unfortunately, our youngest crew member is a little afraid of heights. I have to give her lots of credit though; she put on a brave face and, after much reassuring that the curators of the arch will go to any length to avoid a personal injury lawsuit, she agreed to go up.

The ride to the top was in a strange vehicle that is part elevator, part ferris wheel car. While the room moved diagonally, we stayed straight up and down.

Makenna was able to put aside her fear for a photo-op. 

We made it to the top with everyone in tact, and the views were spectacular.

Everything the light touches is St. Louis. 

The RV is circled!

We survived the ride back down the arch, and after a few more rounds of tag, took a breather at one of the legs.

The arch lost that game of tag. 

This entire trip was a great experience, and we didn't expect to make a stop in St. Louis, but we're certainly glad we did! As strange as it was travelling over land, it was certainly a ton of fun, and if we get the chance, we would definitely do it again!

tl;dr: We went to the Alamo, San Antonio Riverwalk, Natural Bridge Caverns, Palo Duro Canyon, and stopped at St. Louis.